


Inheritance

by sapphose



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: F/M, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphose/pseuds/sapphose
Summary: Sheena and Zelos got together after the world regeneration, but their relationship ended in disaster. Years later, their daughter arrives on Zelos' doorstep to find out what went wrong.Teen rating is for some swearing.
Relationships: Sheena Fujibayashi/Zelos Wilder, sheena fujibayashi/orochi azumi
Kudos: 5





	1. The Unexpected Visitor

Rin's palm is clammy as she clasps the sweating metal charm, and she considers wiping her hand on her dress or something, but she doesn't know if it'll stain the dress, and then it's too late because the door is opening and there is an old man in a suit and mustache behind it and Rin just about freezes up and forgets who she is, becoming a blank-faced terrified teenage girl with damp palms at the door of a house that she doesn't really want to go into.

“May I help you?” the old man asks, looking like he'd rather not, which certainly doesn't surprise Rin.

“Yes. I am here to speak with Zelos Wilder.” There is no shame in admitting that she has practiced saying this.

“I regret to inform you that he is not currently accepting visitors at the moment,” the man says without the slightest trace of interest. “He is otherwise occupied.”

Rin stands up straighter, squares her shoulders, lets her hands fall to her sides.

“Tell him I must speak with him,” she says, in her best commanding voice, which is largely modeled after her mother's. “It's very important.”

“If you would leave your calling card, I shall tell him that you visited, and he will wait upon you at the next available opportunity,” the old man says, in the tone of reciting something he has had to repeat numerous times and expects to be his last words when he finally drops dead.

Rin frowns, which is not commanding, and mostly just looks childish.

“It is a matter of great urgency,” she lies. It isn't urgent, not yet, and she could probably use a few more days thinking it over, but she's been thinking it over for more than a decade and she may lose her nerve if she thinks it over any longer.

“If you'll leave your card-”

“I don't have a card,” Rin interrupts impatiently, which doesn't make her seem particularly commanding either. She sees in the old man's face that this was not the appropriate course of action and perhaps not the right bit of information to reveal.

“If you will tell him I am here,” she forces herself to continue in an even voice, “he will wish to speak with me. He... knew my mother very well.” She tries to hide the way her tongue trips over mentions of her mother.

“Due to the nature of his position as a member of Meltokio's finest society, Master Zelos is well acquainted with a number of women,” the old man informs Rin, although he sounds less than pleased about the fact.

This is not going as Rin had planned. She hadn't planned on revealing anything to anyone except Zelos Wilder himself, and even then she wanted to keep her cards up her sleeve. Now she is being forced to reveal them for some random stranger.

“Just tell him her name.” Rin is taking a huge chance here, and she knows it. It is exactly the sort of thing her mother would advise her not to do. “Tell him that my mother is Sheena Fujibayashi. He'll want to see me.”

The old man blinks. Almost imperceptibly, he leans his head forward.

“Sheena?” the old man's voice is carefully neutral. “Is she expected to arrive here as well?” Rin shakes her head no. Although she does have a hunch that her mother will be too concerned to stay away, Sheena is technically not expected to arrive.

Rin notes the man's reaction to this, the way the creases around his eyebrows deepen.

“And who, shall I say, is calling?” he asks.

Rin hesitates for a half a second as a wriggly little voice in her head resurrects the old debate of a fake name. _It would be safer- so much safer- and simpler- and exactly what your mother would want you to do-_

Rin ignores the voice.

“Tell him that Corina Fujibayashi is here to see him.”

There is a pause that seems to take hours but really is only about two and a half seconds before the old man bows his head stiffly.

“I shall see if Master Zelos is available,” he says, in a voice that's been ironed and pressed and starched. “Please be so kind as to wait… inside.”

Rin does not miss the miniscule hesitation. He does not want her inside the house. But he also does not want someone to see her outside and ask questions.

She doesn't trust any reply she can come up with, so she just nods and steps inside as gracefully as she can while the old man holds open the door to shut behind her.

“I shall return momentarily,” he promises, and begins to make his way up the stairs. Rin thinks back to her first moment of looking at the house, the window with the curtain that moved just barely, and tries to guess if that is the room the old man heads to.

She can't tell.

She expects to be told not to touch the furniture, or that she will have to pay for anything she breaks, but the old man is too polite for that, so she stands with her back against the door. There is one part of her that wants to go and touch everything and hold everything and run her fingertips along the surfaces and _feel_ , feel what it's like to be in this house and have these possessions and live this life. There is another part of her, just as strong, that wants to slip quietly out the front door before the old man returns and make her way back to the hotel and crawl under the covers and curl up in bed and pretend that she has never really existed at all.

She can't decide which of these she wants to do, so she stands, and looks.

A fireplace to the left, staircase to the right, doors opening to a garden across the way. A piano. A gleaming chessboard, with pieces in place, the game interrupted. A pile of gifts, still wrapped.

Rin doesn't notice it at first, but once she does it takes all of her attention. A long portrait on the back wall, of a blonde woman in a red dress, in a heavy gold frame that looks as if it might weigh as much as Rin does. She wonders who the woman is, if she is some long-dead Wilder ancestor who watched the mansion rise up in stone, or if she is in fact Zelos' sister.

Everything Rin sees prompts questions. _Who plays the piano- who played chess- what interrupted them- who gave the gifts- why haven't they been opened- or are they about to be given- who is the woman in the painting- who is a woman in Zelos' life- who is Zelos-_

Rin clasps her bracelet automatically, grounding herself with the familiar touch in a sea of strangeness. Maybe she should leave. Maybe this was a mistake. She shouldn’t have trusted the old man with her name.

Rin knows about the people of Meltokio. They are dishonest, dishonorable, and unfriendly to outsiders. Long ago, it was people like the nobility of Meltokio, people like Zelos Wilder himself, who drove the village of Mizuho into hiding. The people of Meltokio cannot be trusted. Their crimes against Mizuho cannot be forgotten.

This mantra, just like the tale of the world regeneration, is as familiar to Rin as prayers. She has memorized it, and hears it played out in her head with her mother's voice.

She can also hear a scolding played out in her mother's voice, but she is trying her best to ignore it, trying to pretend that her mother will understand why she has done what she has done.

There is a sound, and Rin's stomach takes an aerial leap into her chest, dislodging her heart, which immediately jumps into her throat. Her eyes snap to the top of the stairs.

While Rin waits for her internal organs to settle into their correct positions, the old man is followed by a younger down to the first floor. The younger man is not particularly young at all, but his hair is long and red rather than gray and trimmed, and he carries himself as if he knows his height to the exact centimeter and is determined to fill the room with every last inch of it.

Rin debates the merits of throwing up.

“Mistress Corina Fujibayashi,” the older man announces, with a look in her direction. She forces herself to nod over the colossal lump spontaneously forming in her throat. “Master Zelos Wilder.”

Master Zelos Wilder appears to be having an easier time of it than Rin. He does not look in the least like he is contemplating physical illness. In fact, he smiles, seeming perfectly relaxed and at ease, a disposition of which Rin is rather envious.

She doesn't know what she had expected, only that he is not quite it. He doesn't look wild or unkempt, which she sometimes imagined, nor does he look like some coolly formal diplomat with nothing but status in mind, which she also sometimes envisioned. Most of all, he does not look anything like someone from Mizuho- which, she has to admit despite herself, was what she pictured all along.

“Thank you, Sebastian.” Zelos looks Rin up and down, then meets her eyes with interest. “So. You're the girl who's pretending to be Sheena's daughter.”

“I'm not-” protestations instantly bubble up, but Zelos cuts over them with insulting casualness.

“Sebastian, don't you think you'd better go look into lunch?”

“Excellent idea, Master Zelos,” the older man, Sebastian, agrees readily. He withdraws from the room with a swiftness and silence rivaling that of any ninja from Mizuho. Rin suspects that, with an employer like Zelos, he's had plenty of practice removing himself from painful, private conversations.

Zelos is still smiling, in spite of or perhaps because of Rin's apparent state of minor shock.

“I was surprised Sebastian told me who you were claiming to be. I'm always happy when beautiful young women are knocking at my door, of course, although you are a little young for me. But I like it better when they tell me their real names. What's yours, hunny?”

Rin squeezes her wrist, feeling the curved ridge of her good luck charm press against the skin of her palm, knowing the imprint that will result when she pulls her hand away.

“My name is Corina Fujibayashi,” she repeats. She is doing her best, making direct eye contact, speaking firmly and with clarity, following her training to speak with authority, but knowing that she has no authority to speak of.

“So you say. Take a seat, will ya? Sounds like we got a lot to talk about.” With the gracefulness afforded by familiarity, he drops into an armchair next to the staircase, and gestures to its partner on the other side of the coffee table that houses the disrupted game of chess.

Rin's knees are locked rigidly in place by nerves, but through supreme force of will she makes her legs bend, straighten, and begin to take something resembling her normal steps. She perches woodenly on the edge of her chair, muscles taut, clasping her hands together in her lap. All of her senses are on alert now, and she regards Zelos with caution, learning his face. Light-colored eyes, pointed chin, wide smile that Rin suspects isn't friendly in the least.

“Let's get down to business, hunny. What do you want?”

This is a question Rin has been asking herself nonstop. There are no easy answers. She doesn't want a new family member, not when she already has her stepfather supervising her training and Susano babbling every hour he's awake. She doesn't want to leave her home and belong in Meltokio, forgetting everything she's ever known and loved and embracing her people's persecutor.

What she wants is simple, perhaps even nonsensical.

“I wanted... to see you,” Rin admits. She doesn't know how honest to be, or how to make Zelos reveal his cards before she plays hers. She doesn't know how to match lie for lie when all she really wants is to be believed.

Zelos laughs. It is a chuckle, and a gentle one, but is still a laugh, and the sound of it makes Rin go a little redder, makes her clench her jaw a little tighter. She does not respond well to laughter. This is a lesson learned. There is nothing to be gained from trying sincerity with Zelos.

“I can't blame you for that. I mean, I am irresistible.” He takes a moment to preen, posing for Rin's benefit with a hand in his hair. She holds her face stiff and unresponsive until Zelos drops his arm again, vanity satiated. “But there must be some pretty faces in Mizuho- if that's where you're from. Why come all this way just for me? Why leave Mizuho?”

Rin's mother's voice is sharp and insistent in her head, telling her to reveal nothing, say nothing, give nothing away, guard every secret and wear lies as a mask. This is her training. This is the way.

But Rin is a gambler. She has gambled years of safety on one risky morning in a city she doesn't trust hoping that she will find some kind of meaning in a meeting with a man she doesn't know on the off-chance that he even remembers who her mother is.

_But he must remember Sheena, or he wouldn't have let Rin in_. Rin focuses in on this key point. Even the older man, the servant or whatever, Sebastian- he recognized Sheena's name, and it carried enough weight to get Rin through the door.

If Zelos remembers Sheena, then there's no reason why Zelos shouldn't remember Sheena's daughter.

_Why leave Mizuho?_

“I could ask you the same question,” Rin says, watching Zelos closely for a response.

It isn't big or grand. His eyes narrow slightly, and the fingers resting lightly against his leg tense, pulling wrinkles in the fabric.

It isn't much of a response. But it is one, and Rin notices.

“Aren't you a little young to be playing games like this, hunny?”

“My name is Corina. You know that.”

“I don't know anything about anything having to do with Mizuho.” He has spent the interview draped over the armchair with no particular care, but now he stirs restlessly. She has gotten his attention. “Can you prove it?”

“What?”

“Let's pretend Sheena had a kid, and let's say it's you. How are you going to prove it?”

Rin would be lying if she said that she hadn't thought about this question, dreaded its inevitable arrival, doubted her answer. In her most optimistic visions of the encounter, Zelos had instantly recognized her, and there had been no need for evidence. But that was in the realm of fantasy. Rin knows that the real world is not so forgiving.

Wordlessly, Rin's right hand pulls the red cord wrapped around her left. She catches the little golden bell in her cupped palm just as it falls. It catches the light when she holds it out to Zelos, keenly aware of the sheen acquired from her own perspiration. It hasn’t changed at all, except for the fact that it no longer makes sound.

Zelos raises his eyebrows.

“Very pretty,” he remarks blandly. Rin realizes that he is playing dumb- and she is certain that he must be playing. The thought that he could not know of it- not know of its significance- does not occur to her. How could it, when the charm is a pillar of her knowledge of her mother?

“It belonged to my namesake, Corinne. One of my mother's friends who died on the Journey of Regeneration. She gave it to me. For luck.” Rin doesn't mention that her mother considers the bell to be a talisman of protection imbued with the power of Corinne's spirit form, Verius. Although Rin does not question her mother's beliefs, it is easier to think of the bell as just a good-luck charm.

Zelos looks at the bell, then looks at Rin.

“You could have stolen it,” is his only comment.

Rin can feel the heat rushing to her face as her cheeks blaze. Her fingers close like the snapping of a trap around the bell. To re-tie the bracelet would take time and fumbling, so she slips it into a side pouch of her skirt, obscured by the drape of a brilliant crimson sash. (Rin is not a fan of the noblewomen's skirts in Meltokio, enormous and frosted with ribbons and ruffles, but she has found one redeeming quality in their ability to conceal little pockets.)

With the bell safely tucked away, she stands.

“You know who I am,” she says, and she tries to summon up the ringing tones that she has heard her mother use when addressing the villagers as chief. “And I know who you are. And I also know that you want to know what I'm doing here.”

Rin does not, in fact, know this, but if you're going to go through the trouble of using a dramatic voice to make a dramatic point you may as well say something dramatic while doing it.

Zelos isn't smiling anymore. He pulls back a little in his seat, as if he needs the perspective afforded by his full length in order to properly assess the young woman standing in front of him.

Rin waits. She is debating the merits of walking out right now, with a dramatic swirl of her skirt and a final click of the door. It would be deeply satisfying, but only for the few seconds before she would feel embarrassed and ashamed and painfully aware that she had wasted an opportunity to talk to the man she'd wondered about her whole life.

“I know a little bit about Mizuho,” Zelos says slowly, as if he is feeling out how to proceed. Rin privately has her doubts about this statement, but she keeps her mouth shut. “If Sheena had a daughter- and that daughter was named Corina- she would have had another name too. A secret name. A name that nobody would know except Sheena, Igaguri, the kid, and maybe someone else that Sheena trusted enough to tell.”

“Like a father,” Rin supplies, looking down at Zelos from her motionless stance in front of the coffee table.

“Maybe a father,” Zelos affirms, nodding. “Or maybe someone like me.”

Rin doesn't hear it, then, even though she should. She is too focused on the challenge he is posing.

“You want me to tell you my secret name?” she asks, raising her eyebrows. To be honest, it hasn't occurred to her that Zelos might know her true name. She had thought that she and Sheena are the only ones in the world who knew, since Igaguri's death.

Zelos nods.

“Sheena wouldn't tell anybody except her kid.” His face is blank and doesn't tell anything, but his voice is serious. Rin decides that she trusts Zelos more when he is not smiling.

This is more risky business, with no easy out. Rin can't remember the last time, if ever, that she said her true name aloud. Her mother rarely uses it, her step-father doesn't know it, and Susano can barely even pronounce Rin correctly. There are superstitions about what happens to people who share their true name with outsiders, horror stories about dark magic and legal exploitation from the King of Tethe'alla.

But if it will make Zelos believe her...

Rin doesn't know what she wants from Zelos, any more than she knows what she wants from her mother or herself. All she knows is that she wants answers, to feel complete, to feel like there isn't a stranger lurking inside her every day. Rin isn't like her mother. She can't live a life not knowing where she comes from, because she can't live a life not knowing who she is.

Rin wants to see Zelos, because she wants to see herself.

“Ogumo,” she murmurs, too quietly, then clears her throat. She decides that if she is going to break the taboo that has ruled her life and unites all Mizuho, she may as well do so with confidence. “My true name is Ogumo. My mother called me that because it means 'spider' in Old Mizuho.” Rin can still picture the broken figurine, sitting in her mother's room. Rin has always found it creepy, but she knows what it means to her mother, and she bets that Zelos does too.

For a moment, Zelos does nothing. Then, slowly, he stands, rising to his full height and looking down at Rin as if he doesn't quite know what to make of her. As if seeing her for the first time.

“Corina,” he says, and of the thousand emotions in his voice there are few that Rin can name. Disbelief is chief among them, although that is not the same as doubt.

Rin braces herself and tries to imagine what he will say next. She wants an apology, an explanation, an admission of guilt, curiosity about who she has become, an invitation to stay and discover who he is. She wants a reconciliation, and an answer.

“Does Sheena know you're here?” he asks.

What Rin does not want to do is answer this question. But it is probably a good idea to do so.

“Yes,” she says, which is not technically a lie because Sheena does know that Rin is in Meltokio and Zelos didn't specify what he meant by 'here'.

Perhaps she has answered too quickly, or perhaps her face betrays the lie, because Zelos raises his eyebrows and tilts his head back skeptically.

“The last thing I need is Sheena getting mad at me for kidnapping you. If she doesn't know-”

“She does,” Rin interrupts. She doesn't want to tell Zelos the real reason why she has her mother's permission to leave Mizuho, because to do so would mean explaining the Mizuho Information Network's business in Meltokio, and to do so would be even worse than revealing her true name to an outsider, because it would endanger everyone involved in the mission.

Zelos does not look convinced.

“She was angry, at first, but she understood why I need to find my father,” Rin lies outright.

Zelos's face changes abruptly at that. He lowers his eyebrows and chin to what they were before, and there is a new smoothness around his mouth and eyes, as if he has suddenly donned a mask.

“I'm afraid I can't be of any help with that,” he says, and shrugs. Rin is immediately suspicious; his voice is returning to casual cheer, which she automatically distrusts.

“Why not?”

“I don't know your father,” he says simply, looking her in the eyes.

Rin's stomach lurches forward, trying to escape her abdomen.

“You're lying,” she accuses, and doesn't let herself consider the possibility that he is not, because it is not a possibility, it can't be, _she won't let it be_.

Rin's eyes narrow when she sees Zelos smile.

“Try asking Orochi,” he suggests, and the anger floods in and Rin feels her face flushing because this isn't a joke, this isn't funny, _this is her life and he does not understand-_

“If my father was Orochi, don't you think I'd know?” she spits, with more vehemence than she ever wanted to have to show her father in her first meeting with him. “I've lived my entire life with my village knowing I'm some outsider's bastard child! Why do you think Mama would put me through that if I were Orochi's? For fun?”

Rin doesn't know if Zelos expected to hit a raw nerve, or if the force of her reaction surprises him. He lifts his hands up, palms out, trying to show that he means no harm, which is the biggest lie of all.

“Look, I don't know what you're trying to get from coming here,” he reiterates, “but I can't help you with it.”

Rin is seeing red. She did not risk her mother's wrath, travel to a city that despises everything she is and everything she stands for, and potentially put her mission in danger only for Zelos to lie and tell her he doesn't know what she's looking for.

Rin fixes Zelos with her best piercing gaze, which is really the best piercing gaze that any young woman with sweaty palms in a frilly dress can give.

“Do you know why I was named after that spider?” she asks, and doesn't wait for an answer. “As a reminder to my mother not to run away. I thought it was a reminder for you, too.”

Zelos looks vaguely stunned. Rin focuses on breathing.

There is another long moment of silence, where Rin is not sure what Zelos will do. She considers leaving, more seriously this time. She has obviously made a mess of the encounter, and Zelos's lack of reaction is probably telling. The wriggling little voice in her head gets louder, telling her it's not worth it, she's wasted her opportunity, _maybe he wasn't her father anyways_ -

The voice is cut off when Zelos starts to laugh. Not the gentle chuckle that enraged her earlier, but a hearty, full-throated laugh, perplexing Rin. He puts his hands behind his head, elbows up on either side, surveying Rin frankly.

“You are _definitely_ Sheena's daughter,” he confirms.

“And yours,” she persists. She refuses to let this journey have been in vain.

Zelos sighs, drops one arm and uses the other to run a hand through his long, rumpled hair.

“Kid, assuming for a second that I even am your father- and I'm not saying I am- what the hell did you come here for?”

That question again.

“To see you. I wanted to see my father.” She doesn't admit that she expected to see more of herself in him. Rin knows that she looks like Sheena, with the same dark hair and amber eyes, even the same temper. It is difficult to see what, if anything, she gets from Zelos. Except... “Wouldn't you do the same?”

“Heh. My father's been dead for years.”

“But, if he weren't. Would you go to find him?”

“...Maybe. Yes,” Zelos acknowledges. “Yes, I probably would.” One corner of his mouth twitches inevitably upwards, the beginnings of a smile. “So. What now?”

“What do you mean?”

“You've seen me,” he reminds her. “That's the goal. What's the next step? Or did you not think it out that far?” Rin's cheeks burn. She has not, in fact, thought it out this far.

“In that case,” Zelos continues, “I have a suggestion. You're emotional- don't try and deny it, you're blushing just like Sheena does. And I've never had a kid show up out of the blue expecting me to play daddy before. I need some time to wrap my head around this. So I suggest that we take a break. You go get a room at the hotel, I get a drink, and we both take some time to think it over. Come back tomorrow- I'll tell Sebastian to let you in without the usual run-around. And we'll... talk. Fair?”

Rin isn't so sure. She can't help but think that if she were in Zelos's situation, she would take the opportunity to take a nice vacation to Altamira.

Her doubt does not go unnoticed, and both his voice and gaze soften.

“I promise,” he says quietly. “I'm not going to run away again.”

Rin has now seen her father solemn, and she has seen him smiling. She hopes that she is now seeing him be sincere.

Either way, she has seen her father.


	2. Tea Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin returns for a second attempt at conversation. Zelos's point of view.

This time, it is different. Sebastian recognizes Rin immediately, ushers her in to sit, and whisks off to make some tea. Zelos is different too. This time, Zelos is prepared. Or, as prepared as he can be. There is truly no way to be adequately prepared for a conversation with the long-lost daughter you haven't seen in years whose mother hates you and whose existence you tried very hard to forget, particularly when she ignores all of your lies and insists that you speak with her. But this time, Zelos at least knows she is coming, and that is an advantage.

He still doesn't understand exactly why she's coming, but he suspects that she doesn't, either. Although he perhaps shouldn't, he thinks about Sheena. He decides that Sheena would be furious that he is speaking with Corina, but that Sheena would be even angrier if he refused, and he will use this supposition as a guiding principle.

Corina looks like Sheena, which Zelos should have expected, since she resembled Sheena as a baby too. She was born with light eyes, but they turned darker as she got older. Apparently, Zelos remembers hearing, this is not uncommon for babies. It creeped him out at the time. He thinks that Corina has Sheena's temper, too, and both of their stubbornness.

The big difference between Corina and Sheena, as near as Zelos can tell, is the dress. Sheena absolutely refused to conform to Meltokian standards of dress, preferring to wear the same clothes she would in Mizuho. Corina, with her dark hair in curls and a scarlet dress trimmed with all the fixings, clearly was more concerned with blending in.

She is wearing a different dress now, and her hair is in a loose braid. Yesterday's dress was typical for a noblewoman in the upper quarter; today, it is simpler, with a thinner skirt. She looks less like a noblewoman and more like a middle-class girl from the merchant district. But Zelos doesn't comment on this. He isn't sure where she is getting the dresses at all, but suspects it is somehow connected to the fact that she already had a hotel room and that she does seem to be here with Sheena's knowledge, if not permission. It is part of a larger mystery, but Zelos is not ready to push for the answers, not quite yet.

Instead, he settles himself comfortably in his chair and tries to appear at ease, while Corina continues to sit as if there is a string attached to her head, pulling her spine up. He wonders if she always is like this, or if she is just nervous. The only part of her in motion is her hand. Although she doesn't seem aware of it, her thumb rubs itself repetitively against the edge of Corinne's bell, as if to remind her that it is there. Zelos has already realized how attached she is to the charm.

“I've been thinking,” he begins, when it is clear that Corina is not going to initiate the conversation. “And I've got a few questions for you. You probably have some for me, too, right?” He is encouraged by her nod, jerky though it is. “So, I think I've got an idea on how to do this. We'll take turns. You ask me a question, then I'll ask you one, and we go back and forth. We both get our questions answered.”

He does not mention that this saves them the burden of trying to keep up a natural conversation. He suspects any attempt at such would not be successful.

“I agree,” she says. She glances down at her charm, then up at him, and almost smiles. “What should I call you?”

Of all the questions she could have asked, this is one that Zelos is totally unprepared for. What the hell _should_ she call him? Certainly not “father,” or “dad” or “papa” or anything of the sort. He doesn't feel enough like a father. But “Master Zelos” wouldn't sound right.

“Zelos,” he decides, grinning. “You can just call me Zelos. And what should I call you?”

Ordinarily, he would assign a nickname, a habit that he has not grown out of. But visions of Sheena prickling with indignation hold him back. Zelos is conflicted- on the one hand, he has a perverse desire to do everything in his power that will tick Sheena off; on the other hand, he is reluctant to take such a foolhardy risk.

“Rin,” Corina- Rin- says. “Everyone just calls me Rin.” She narrows her eyes and looks at Zelos, as if judging how best to proceed. Probably she is. “Who lives here with you?”

 _Smart kid_ , Zelos thinks, noticing that her question mirrors the one he planned to ask. He vaguely considers lying about having a harem upstairs of which the princess and current pope are both part, purely for the benefit of having it travel back to Sheena, but decides against it.

“Sebastian. Sometimes my sister, Seles, but she's got her own house now, so it's mostly just me and Sebastian,” he explains off-handedly, reminding himself that the word loneliness is not in his vocabulary.

“Oh.” Rin's brow furrows, but she says nothing more.

“What about you?” Zelos asks. He picks up a black pawn from the chess set and turns it over in his hand, determined to stay casual. “Who do you live with?”

“My mother,” Rin recites. “My stepfather. Orochi Azumi. And my little brother. Half-brother, I guess. Susano.”

Zelos moves the pawn to another place on the board. So his suspicion of Orochi's feelings turned out to be correct. If only he had read Sheena's feelings as accurately. Well, he had been second best to Lloyd. Why not be second best to Orochi as well?

If only it was that easy.

“Heh. Believe it or not, I'm the older half-sibling too,” he shares. He is determined not to reveal any of his true feelings to Rin; there's no need to scare her off with the intensity of his bitterness. Good thing he has plenty of practice in fooling Fujibayashis.

His remark is rewarded with a shy smile.

“I didn't know that,” Rin replies. She sounds almost relieved; Zelos suspects that she had wondered if they would have anything in common. “Is your sister the woman in the painting?”

She turns her head to the portrait on the back wall, but Zelos already knows which one she is referring to, and doesn't feel a need to follow her gaze. He looks at the board instead, selecting a white pawn with his fingertips. His mother got to coldly stare at him enough in real life; he tries to limit her opportunities to do so now that she is dead. If he could do anything he pleased, the painting would have gone up in flames years ago. But he knows that too many people would wonder where it had gone, and appearances have to be kept up.

“No.” He shakes his head dismissively. “Seles looks much more like me than that. That's my mother. The late Mylene Wilder.”

“I'm sorry.” Rin looks stricken. “I didn't know she was- I mean, I didn't think she was dead.”

Zelos waves his hand.

“Don't worry about it. She's been dead since I was a kid.”

“Oh.” Despite herself, Rin's face has softened into sadness. Zelos wonders if she shares Sheena's fondness for children. “You and your father must've felt terrible.”

“My father was already dead. He died before she did.” Zelos decides to leave out the gory details. Most adults in Meltokio know about his mother; it was a public scandal, and the subject of gossip for several years. Less is known about his father's death, which the Church of Martel announced as an unfortunate, gravity-induced accident.

“ _Oh_.” Rin bites her lip and doesn't say anything more. Zelos notes that she is blushing; she shares Sheena's propensity for luminescence. With a practiced lack of care, he brushes the awkwardness off with a shrug, and places the white pawn. It's much slower to play in the middle of a conversation, but it gives him something to do with his hands.

“Guess I know what it's like to not have a dad around,” he cracks, and winks at Rin. She doesn't seem to find it amusing. “But it's my turn for a question. I want to know- are you a ninja?”

“In training,” she corrects. “But I will be one day.” This does not surprise Zelos at all. Bored with pawns, he goes for a knight. Rin watches curiously.

“Are you playing chess with yourself?” she asks.

Zelos laughs. It has become so automatic that he forgets others can see him playing.

“Yeah, it's a habit.” It gives him something to do when he is alone, and something else to think about when he has to sit still. “Can you play?”

Rin cocks her head to the side and studies the pieces as Zelos finishes his move.

“Sort of. But the version we have in Mizuho is different. The board isn't colored, and the figures are flatter. More like tokens.”

But Zelos knows that already. He can see it in his mind's eye: wooden pieces marked with unfamiliar characters sliding over carved lines on the board while Sheena bites her lip in concentration. The memory hurts, somehow.

“I remember Sheena tried to teach me. It was hard, since she didn't know all the rules herself.” She had blamed him for the frustration, saying that he kept breaking her concentration. How was he supposed to know that tickling her would make her forget how to play?

“She tried to teach me too.” Rin rolls her eyes, and in that instant she doesn't look cold or awkward or imperious. She looks ordinary. “My stepfather had to come in and re-explain the whole thing.”

As if ordinary were possible for Zelos Wilder.

“Ah. Yes. Orochi.” Zelos narrows his focus back in on the chess game, keeping his face neutral. He is inclined to say something along the lines of _fuck Orochi_ , but it isn't the same when he knows Sheena has.

“How long has Sheena been married to Orochi?” This is a question that has been gnawing at him. How long did Sheena wait? If she waited. Zelos thinks ruefully that they could have been fucking the entire time and he wouldn't have known.

Rin hesitates. Zelos wonders if she is counting in her head.

“I don't know,” she finally admits. “Maybe ten years? Maybe more.”

 _Maybe a lot more_ , thinks Zelos, although all he says is that it's Rin's turn to ask a question. She smiles, and Zelos notices that she has let go of her bracelet. Presumably, she is relaxing. Zelos isn't certain how he feels about that. He isn't sure yet if it was wise to speak with her at all.

“How can you play all by yourself?” Rin gestures to the board with a flick of her wrist. Zelos smiles in spite of himself. It's a question he's heard before, and he's got a number of rehearsed answers, depending on the asker.

“It's not easy,” he says in a confidential tone, as if he is admitting an important secret. “Usually it ends in a tie.”

Rin doesn't laugh (Zelos wonders if she ever does), but looks thoughtful. There is a pause as Zelos moves his next piece. He isn't really trying with this game. Usually, he only puts in effort if he's trying very hard not to think about something else.

Rin said Orochi and Sheena have been married maybe ten years, maybe more. Zelos wonders how much more. He doesn't want to care, he doesn't want it to matter to him, but it does. There is a part of him, a selfish and sentimental part, which wonders if Sheena mourned. If she missed him.

“How old is your brother?” he asks instead. That kid is, after all, the only concrete proof that Orochi got in Sheena's pants.

“Susano's four,” Rin answers promptly.

Four. Well, that doesn’t prove anything. Zelos wants to feel smug that it took them so many years, but people can sleep together without getting pregnant.

It’s like an itch he can’t scratch. For so long, he hasn't thought about Orochi and Sheena at all, and suddenly the thought of them in bed together bothers him. Not the thought of it now- it has been long enough- but the thought of it then. That he had been third best after all.

Zelos stands abruptly.

“I'd better see what's keeping Sebastian,” he says, and strides out to the kitchen, leaving Rin looking puzzled.

So long without thinking about this at all, and now it’s making him sick.

Sebastian has tea ready to go. Zelos suspects he was eavesdropping, maybe waiting for the right moment to enter, but neither of them says anything about it. Sebastian is the closest thing to family that Zelos has, and he's long since accepted that privacy is the price for one caregiving figure.

Zelos pretends to inspect the setup, but what he's really doing is thinking about how to proceed with Rin. _One silver teapot –_ what does he want from her? – _two porcelain cups_ – what does he want to know? – _cream, sugar_ – screw it. Screw it all. Zelos can think of all kinds of questions about Mizuho. Is Igaguri still alive? Did Kuchinawa come back? Zelos doesn't know anything about what has happened since he last saw Sheena, but he knows that too much curiosity is dangerous. Too much curiosity makes the memories come back. Too much curiosity is painful.

Rin is inspecting the chess set closely when Zelos returns. He purposefully clatters the tray a little, to startle her, and she looks up sharply, half-rising from her chair.

He is surprised that she takes her tea without anything, and says so.

“Sheena couldn't drink it unless it was sweet.”

Rin furrows her brow. “No, Mama always takes tea and coffee strong.”

Well, that's news to Zelos. Last he knew, the funniest faces Sheena could make came after she tried to drink tea without milk to impress Tiga.

“Maybe being chief has changed her tastes,” he comments. “Or maybe she summons Undine to water it down when no one is looking.”

Still no laugh, but Rin does smile at this picture of her mother. Maybe if Zelos keeps at it for another few weeks, he'll win a chuckle.

But he shakes that thought off immediately. Rin won't be around for a few more weeks. She shouldn't even be here now.

“Mama doesn't actually summon that much,” Rin admits. “She says it's rude to ask the elemental rulers of our world to help her with paperwork.”

Zelos laughs at that in spite of himself, mostly because he can hear Sheena saying it. He was always teasing her about summoning spirits for mundane tasks, mostly just to hear her exasperated answers.

“Did she teach you to summon too?” This is something Zelos has been wondering, even before Rin re-entered his life. If he had somehow played a part in re-starting a bloodline that would carry on the lost art of summoning.

But Rin's face abruptly closes.

“I can't summon.” Her voice is quiet, but her eyes dare him to make a comment.

With his usual knack, Zelos has found the wrong thing to say. It figures that Rin could only stay comfortable so long with him. He wonders about how she knows, about if they have tested her and why she didn't turn out a summoner when she has magic blood on both sides. He wants to know why she shuts down when thinking about it. Did she have the same experience as Sheena, a painful first failure? Or is Rin embarrassed that she didn't inherit her mother's talent?

Sensing it is better not to ask, Zelos keeps his mouth shut and moves a piece on the board while Rin sips delicately from the teacup. He tactfully changes the subject after deciding that, were it up to Rin, they would sit in silence until sunset.

“Your turn for a question.”

There is another pause as Rin thinks. Maybe if she runs out of questions, she will leave. Maybe if she leaves, Zelos can go back to pretending that he is not a father, because he does not know how to be.

“How old are you?”

Zelos snorts before he can catch himself. It is exactly the kind of question that one is not supposed to ask, ever.

“How are they _raising_ you out in that village?” Rin presses her lips together thinly. Clearly, she thinks they are raising her just fine. “That's not a very polite question to ask. But, since you're from Mizuho and all, I guess I'll let it slide. Not that anyone around in Meltokio knows this, but I'm thirty eight.”

Rin studies Zelos fixedly as he speaks. He isn't sure what to make of her intent gaze. He is doing what he has done all his life, playing the clown, but in this case he finds the audience unnerving. He has re-learned to insult the boondocks, in the years since he lost contact with Sheena and Presea and Lloyd and anyone he knew from those backwater villages. Rin's face tells him that it's still considered rude.

“How old were you when your parents died?” she asks.

Zelos lets out a long, low whistle.

 **“** Martel, kid, _that's_ the question you're going with?”

He can handle her initial shame at having brought up a painful subject. But he can't handle is her peculiar insistence on bringing it up again. He can't quite get the hang of Rin at all, it seems. She goes from shy and awkward to angry and commanding to calmly yet piercingly direct. Zelos thinks ruefully that Mizuho must really be relaxing their laws of etiquette under Sheena's rule.

“Ten when my mother died,” he answers curtly. “seven for my father.”

“So you knew him at least a little,” Rin observes. Zelos raises an eyebrow.

“It's not a competition.”

Rin stiffens, holding herself a little higher, and her hand creeps towards Corrine's bell. Zelos sees an echo of her injured pride from yesterday, but the move to her good luck charm tells him anxiety is behind it.

“I know,” she says sharply, as if he has insulted her to imply that she is competing over who had less of a father. (Zelos thinks it's about even, given how much he actually saw of the man for those seven years, but he's not about to explain that.) “Your turn to ask a question.”

If Rin can poke at sore spots, so can Zelos. And he has finally decided exactly what he wants to ask her about.

“Where are you getting those clothes?”

Coolly, Rin folds her hands in her lap, releasing Corrine's bell. Zelos thinks to himself that she'll never make a good ninja until she learns that trying to act calm is a sign of lying.

“I borrowed them.”

Or until she comes up with better excuses.

“I didn't know Mizuho had clothes like that lying around,” Zelos remarks, feigning surprise. He feels strangely satisfied as Rin takes another drink, biding her time before she responds. He has the power in the conversation now, and realizing that makes him realize that he had lost it.

“I wanted to blend in.”

Zelos notes that she isn't responding to what he actually said, and moves a chesspiece, giving her a little time to squirm. A good conversation is like chess, and he can sense he's close to cornering her king. He decides it's time to play his next piece.

“Next time, you should borrow a fan and gloves, too. You looked a little out of place at the speech last night.” As he expected, Rin looks startled to have been caught. He had been startled to see her, so he considers it fair payback. “I keep up with the papal elections, you know. I didn't think you'd be there.”

“It seemed interesting.”

Zelos has to give Rin credit for one thing. She may not be the most creative liar, but she's doing a damn good job suppressing her usual expressiveness. He suspects that the secret is professional, not personal, since she wasn't able to keep herself this in control yesterday.

“Lucky you were dressed like a noblewoman, huh? If you had looked like you do today, they wouldn't have let you in. Pretty lucky coincidence.” He knows it is not a coincidence, that Rin's clothes are tied into something, something likely connected to Mizuho and the papal elections. But she merely shrugs.

“I guess that's what happens when you have a good luck charm.”

Zelos smiles, pleased to find that she can be witty after all. He decides to slip into retreat for a little while, and let her feel secure before he pushes again.

“All right, point taken.So, what's your next question?”

Rin considers, biting the corner of her lip in a very Sheena-like way. Zelos has already observed that she is more thoughtful today. He wonders if she is really thinking of what to say next, or if she has all her questions prepared and is feigning pauses.

“If you have so many questions about me, why didn't you come back?”

Zelos chokes on his tea. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he thinks grimly that if Rin murdered him it would probably be a success in Sheena’s eyes.

 **“** Way to stick with the easy questions, kid,” he remarks. Shit. Just when he thought he was back in charge. “Don't you want to get to know each other first? Didn't they teach you any manners in Mizuho?”

But from the look on Rin's face, she is sick of slights against Mizuho.

“They taught me not to waste time,” she replies curtly. She is either ignoring or has missed his coughing fit.

Not to waste time? Well, what the hell does that mean? As far as Zelos is concerned, even if she were dying tomorrow, it would be too soon to ask that question.

“We've got years to catch up on. There's no rush.” Sure, he contemplated going off and saying hello to Regal until Rin left town. But he decided against it, didn't he?

“I'm not...” Rin bites her lip again. “I can't stay for very long. I want to use the time well.”

And using it well is asking why he didn't go back to the woman who loved and hated him more than anyone? No. No, Zelos is not going to play that game today. No, siree. He decides it's Rin's turn to feel uncomfortable again.

“Can't stay in Meltokio, or can't stay right now?” Maybe if he distracts her, with talking or coming up with reasons not to, she will forget what she has said.

“Either.” Rin picks up her tea cup and fingers the handle. “I have other business today.”

A calculated sip of tea. Zelos notices that she is avoiding answering the question. He is again nearing the murky waters of Rin's real mission in Meltokio.

“Let me guess.” He pretends to ponder, tapping a finger against his chin, as he decides to needle her about her change of clothes. “Business in the merchant district?”

“I want to buy some things. For my stay.”

She keeps her gaze steady, which amuses Zelos. He feels like she blinks less when she is lying, trying too hard not to look shifty-eyed.

“I can buy you whatever you need,” he offers, turning the screws a bit. As expected, Rin balks at the offer.

“No!” She regains her composure hastily, but not soon enough to hide the fact that she had lost it. “No, thank you, but I prefer to go myself. I'd like to get to know the city a little better.”

Can't she at least make the lies more interesting? What is there to get to know in Meltokio? You've seen one big house, you've seen them all. And she shouldn't be planning for any kind of extended stay.

“Would you like Sebastian to take you around? He's an excellent guide to the city.” _And probably listening to the conversation_.

“No, thank you. I'll get along fine on my own.”

Rin is mastering polite yet firm refusal. Zelos decides to let the matter rest. He is testing the waters, discovering how far he can push.

“Suit yourself.” He takes a sip of his own tea and leans back in the chair, playing at relaxation. As long as she isn't too comfortable, he can be.

“Are you going to answer me?”

Until she goes and brings up the very thing he was trying to make her forget. Zelos sighs and glances down at the chessboard, biding time in the conversation with his next move. What is there to say? He left for too many reasons, or too few. He was scared. Scared of Sheena and Rin and of himself. Scared of his parents and what they had done to him and what he could do to someone else. Scared of how much Sheena relied on him, and how much he needed her.

Who is Rin to ask, anyways? She's better off because he left. Of this Zelos is sure. No matter how angry she is about being an outsider's child, it's got to be better than having grown up with the outsider there. Outsider to Mizuho, outsider to family, outsider in his own mind.

“I don't think there is an answer,” he says, finally, because he needs to say something but there's nothing worth saying. “Ask something else. Something easier.”

“Fine.” Rin doesn't push back, but she doesn't look happy about it. Zelos suspects that she has a lifetime of difficult questions stored up, and prays that she won't stay long enough to ask them all. She can ask about anything in the world, as long as she doesn't ask about him.

Rin shifts in her seat suddenly. Zelos hopes that's a sign she's going to change the subject to the weather.

“What does being the Chosen of Mana mean?”

Or she can change it to that. Damn. Before Zelos can even process how he feels about the question, Rin is steamrolling ahead.

“My mother's told me about the Journey of Regeneration,” she elaborates, “and how the Chosen system had something to do with the worlds before they were united. But what are you now? How does it work? I mean, the candidate who was speaking, last night, she talked about your work with the church. And people still call you Chosen-” But she stops, abruptly, when Zelos starts to laugh.

He can't help himself. He knows from yesterday that she hates being laughed at, but it is either laugh or cry, and he isn't about to break down sobbing. He laughs because she is asking the same questions that he asks himself, every day, without knowing the answers.

“Sheesh, that's your idea of _easier_? I give up.” He raises his hands in the air, defeat. Rin, ever the bearer of injured dignity, does not react.

“I _was_ the Chosen of Mana. But Tethe'alla didn't need one anymore after the world regenerated, so I dumped the title. People are still getting used to the change. Hard to switch after centuries of tradition, I guess. The king and the church weren't thrilled, but being Chosen never meant much anyways. I stayed pretty and prayed sometimes. Not that looking good was hard for yours truly, of course.” Rin frowns. Zelos almost laughs again. Sure, kid, be unhappy about your dad's vanity. You don't know what he's saved you from, by eliminating the hereditary title. You don't know the death you've been spared.

“But the king said he'd take away the money and the house unless I found something else to do. So I became the goodwill ambassador, after Sheena became chief.” No need to mention that he was the one who had gotten her that position in the first place. “Turns out international diplomacy's not for me. Too many broken hearts across the continents. So I kept the goodwill part, but moved it to the city. I've been doing charity work in the slums ever since.”

Rin looks impressed, in spite of herself. Good. Zelos is sometimes impressed with himself, too. He had never imagined he would find any kind of purpose in life, let alone one that actually benefited others.

“That's not what I expected,” Rin admits.

Zelos stifles the urge to say _me too_ , and asks instead what she was anticipating. She shrugs. It seems that Zelos's speech has eaten up her anger.

“I don't know, exactly. I thought you were...” Rin pauses. “Well, my mother always made you sound irresponsible.”

Zelos is positive Rin is putting it mildly.

“That sounds like something Sheena would say, all right.” Maybe _lying, arrogant, irresponsible idiot pervert_ if she was feeling articulate. “What else did she tell you about me?”

“Not much.”

Zelos is initially inclined to think that Rin is being diplomatic, but changes his mind after her next statement, because she's not that creative of a liar.

“Mama didn't really like to talk about you at all, just when I'd ask.”

Zelos doesn't know whether to be happy or sad that Rin asked. The idea that Sheena refused to talk about him is worse than insults.

“That figures.” (It hurts, but it figures. He can't blame her.) “I'm surprised she didn't try to pass you off as Orochi's kid.”

He's back to that open wound, about Orochi not being Rin's father. But she doesn't have the same thundercloud in her face as last time. Maybe it's a thought that she's had, too?

“It would have been difficult,” Rin responds. “Everyone knows I'm an outsider's child. I think they even know it was you.”

That would make sense, since they all agonized about his every second spent in Mizuho.

“Did they tell you?”

“No.” Rin shakes her head emphatically at the idea. Of course. Village of ninjas, village of secrets. “Nobody talked about it. They probably weren't allowed to say. Mama didn't want me to know at all. But in the end, Orochi convinced her that I had a right to know.”

Zelos' eyebrows shoot up.

“Orochi did that?” he repeats, wondering if he heard wrong. Orochi Azumi, scary faceless ninja loyal to Sheena in everything but her taste in men?

“Yes. He's very concerned with... justice, I guess you could say. Right and wrong,” Rin clarifies.

Fuck that. Why couldn't he just leave well enough alone? Rin would have been better not knowing.

Although he doesn't want to, Zelos realizes that Rin would have found out somehow regardless. She is here because she is determined to search and see.

“Justice, huh? Yeah, I think I remember that.” Trying desperately not to remember anything, Zelos returns to chess. The game is much more fun when he doesn't have to find out that he is beholden to people he would rather hate.

“Well, kid?” Zelos watches her in his periphery as he puts his piece in place. “Got any more easy questions?”

He hopes, but not with much conviction, that the answer is no.

“What do you like to do?” Rin asks, instead of indulging Zelos's weak hopes.

He smiles, swallowing a chuckle. It seems like an easy question, but it's one that has haunted him in a life spent trying to fill endless empty hours.

“Play chess. Play a little piano, too. Spend time with beautiful young ladies.” He intends the last comment as a compliment of sorts, to Rin, but she doesn't take it as one. At least, she doesn't look like it. She looks troubled. Probably to be expected. No one hopes for a father who spends his time flirting with younger women. But it's not enough to scare her off, and she says nothing.

Zelos wonders what she had expected, but doesn't want to ask, because he doesn't want to know what else Sheena or Orochi or anyone else has told her.

“And you?”

The response is immediate.

“I train.”

Zelos resists rolling his eyes, but only barely.

“Yes, and?”

Rin thinks. Zelos decides that this is exactly what is wrong with that village. In Meltokio, any ordinary teenager would have an answer. Dancing, or singing, or running around causing trouble. But ninjas train, and don't do anything else.

What else would Rin even have to do? Play with Orochi's kid? If she's like Sheena, then she likes children, but looking after a little brother isn't fun.

“I like flowers,” Rin decides. “Gardening. Mama complains that we're surrounded, because I planted flowers around the whole house.”

That's innocent enough. Stay there. Flowers. Gardening. Very wholesome, un-painful topic.

“What kind?”

“Red spider lilies, mostly.”

Zelos decides on a new theory- there is no topic of conversation that will not result in remembering things he'd rather forget.

“More spiders, huh?” Don't Fujibayashis ever get sick of reminding Zelos about his broken promises?

“Mhh.” To Rin's credit, she doesn't decide that now is the time to talk about what they mean. Instead, she pours herself more tea. Zelos knows she isn't asking the questions that are probably bubbling desperately within her- why he left, why he didn't come back, why he tried to pretend he didn't believe her. But those are the questions that will go un-answered.

Rin reminds him so much of Sheena. Maybe she wouldn't, if he had seen Sheena more recently, but all he has is long-ago Sheena, and he sees her in Rin's temper and hair and eyes and love of flowers. Nothing like Zelos at all.

Of course, that begs the question, what is Zelos like? He isn't sure of the answer. He doesn't know how to peel apart the layers of himself, pick what is true and what is learned and what is inherited and what is scar tissue from trauma that never healed. Maybe Rin would remind him of himself, if he knew who that was. Or he would have been like her, if he had lived a different life.

But there's no point in wondering that. Rin is her own person.

“What are you thinking?” Rin suddenly inquires. Zelos blinks. Dammit. He had gotten lost in his own head, and she had caught it.

“Chess game,” he lies easily, picking a piece at random since it doesn't matter because Rin doesn't know how to play. “And how Sheena couldn't garden.”

He isn't sure why he says that- isn't even sure if it's true- but it slides out easily.

“Do you?”

“No, too much of a chance to get dirty.” He flashes her his signature grin, although he knows she won't smile back. “Sebastian arranges all the flowers.” He circles his finger around the room, indicating the vases around the walls. Today it's roses, his favorite. When he is in the right melodramatic mood, he feels a kinship with the flowers people breed for their own purposes, but curse if the thorns happen to prick them.

There must be something in the way he looks at them, because Rin smiles then. Zelos realizes, with a pang in his stomach, that it makes him happy to see her smile.

“When do you leave?” he asks, because it is safer if she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if we ever explicitly learn how the pope is appointed in Tethe'alla, but historically the Catholic pope in Rome is an elected position, and I thought it would be interesting to explore if that were true in this world as well.


	3. No News is Good News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Mizuho, Sheena and Orochi try not to argue. Sheena's point of view.

Sheena is unhappy. She does not want Orochi to have been right, but she also does not want him to have been wrong. Either way, it means Rin is slipping through her fingers, moving into a world where Sheena can’t protect her.

“There’s not much in here,” she muses aloud, covering her train of thought. Orochi watches her expectantly.

“I’m sure Rin’s doing well,” he says gently, ignoring what Sheena’s said in favor of responding to what she meant. Sheena puts the report back down on her desk and smooths out the folds.

“She’s completing her duties. But Kasumi says she isn’t accounting for her whereabouts.”

“She shares a room with Kasumi. How much is there to account for?” Orochi’s confidence that this is nothing but a mother being over-protective nettles Sheena. She has been a cautious parent, she wouldn’t deny it, but try as she might she can’t treat Rin like any other young villager. And she shouldn’t have to. There’s an unfairness in being chief, being pulled too hard in too many directions, under too much scrutiny.

“Apparently she’s sneaking away somewhere most afternoons. Kasumi’s asking if I want her followed.”

“Do you?”

Sheena feels like Orochi’s eyes are boring holes in her. She wishes that she were a dictator, who could make decisions without having to share her reasoning- or, better yet, that she weren’t in a position of power at all.

“Rin could be compromising the secrecy of our involvement.” Sheena doesn’t really believe that, knows that she has raised her daughter better than that, but it comes out anyways.

“Comprising secrecy, or compromising you?” Orochi gives her a moment to respond, but she doesn’t, focusing on the convenient task of filing the report instead. He always thinks he knows how Sheena feels- and she can’t decide if it’s more irritating when he’s right or wrong in his guesses.

After a beat, he continues. “We’ve talked about this, Sheena. She wanted to go on a mission.”

“She wanted to go on _this_ mission,” Sheena snaps, re-engaging with the old argument even though they’ve said everything there is to say. “Because it was in Meltokio.”

“Because it was far from home. When you were nineteen, you had already gone to another world. You can’t blame her for wanting to go to another city.”

“It’s not Sybak, Orochi! It’s the one city she should never go to.”

“Ninjas go to Meltokio all the time.”

“Not ninjas who were almost born there.”

“He doesn’t know who she is.”

“But she knows who he is!” Sheena slams her hand on the desk, narrowly avoiding knocking over an inkpot. This particular well of anger has only grown deeper over the years. “I know you think it doesn’t matter, but it does. Even if she was going to find out anyways- even if she was going to find _him_ anyways- doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, or that we should allow it!”

As he always does when she yells, Orochi grows quieter. His reflexive calm can be helpful, but at times like this, when she really wants to scream, it only makes her feel shamefully self-aware of how inappropriate emotional outbursts are to her position. This is an old and ongoing conflict, with no visible resolution. Orochi has been a good father to Rin, but never having understood the appeal of Zelos, he can’t imagine why Rin would be anything but disillusioned and disappointed upon meeting the man himself. Sheena knows better. Rin is pushing, yearning for something, and that something might come in the form of a falsely free chosen who knows too much and cares too little about Mizuho.

“She’ll know if she’s being followed.” Orochi is changing the subject, another tactic for not having the fight.

“Not if Kasumi does it well.”

“Rin will think you don’t trust her.”

 _She already thinks that_ , is what Sheena wants to say. Instead, she pulls out a new piece of paper and focuses on addressing the missive.

“It’s not her. It’s him.”

Even after all this time, she can’t bring herself to name Zelos. But the weight of their history hang like clouds over the room.

There is silence as she writes. Perhaps Orochi is evaluating his next strategy. Or perhaps he is waiting for her to calm down. She holds out the document without looking up.

“Have this delivered to Kasumi.” A moment, a question hanging in the air. “That’s an order, Orochi.”

And he bows, and goes. And she’s left with only herself and the weight of her choices and regret.

Sheena loves Rin, with a love that is fierce and bright and wide. She loves her daughter’s curiosity and spirit and pride, her ability to make things grow and her inability to let things lie. Out of that love, Sheena has worked her entire life to keep Rin safe from all the things that hurt her, from loving someone who will only let you down and from the scorn and rejection of a village and from the painful pressure of holding a universe together with one’s own mana.

Sheena loves Rin. She will do what it takes to keep her safe.


	4. Unsent Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to each other is hard. Sheena, Zelos, and Rin write letters they will never send.

Mama,

I know that you don’t understand. I think maybe you’re worried that Mizuho isn’t enough, or that you aren’t enough. And it’s not that. I just feel so full of questions that you can’t answer, and I had to know.

How could you live your whole life never wondering who your parents were, or why they gave you up? Didn’t you want to know? Didn’t you wonder?

Sometimes I want to shake you and shout: Try and find them!

I don’t understand you, Mama, and you don’t understand me. But maybe after this we can try again to understand each other.

-Rin

~~Dear~~ Sheena,

~~Tell Orochi I say hi, hunny.~~

I’ve met Rin. She is here. She is safe.

~~How the hell could you let her come here?~~

~~Why didn’t you tell her about me? She deserved to know.~~

Why did you let Orochi tell her about me? She would have been better off not knowing. ~~Or maybe he should have told her everything, that I’m the reason my mother and Seles’s mother died, and I nearly sold out two worlds and betrayed everyone because I’m~~

Orochi, seriously? What happened to wanting someone who made you laugh? ~~Even if it wasn’t me, it didn’t have to be Orochi.~~

~~Too bad Colette already got Lloyd.~~

Rin looks like you. ~~I don’t know what you look like, anymore.~~

Zelos

Rin,

I know that you think I don’t trust you. Maybe even that I’m disappointed in you. And that’s not true. I’m proud of you, Rin, and I love you, and I know that you are going to be a valuable member of the Mizuho Information Network.

Not that being a ninja is the only thing that matters. I would love you even if you weren’t. But I want you to know that I think you would be fine on almost any mission. I do. Really. (I’m not putting this well, but you know how I feel about writing. At least a letter doesn’t have to be as formal as mission reports.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are there are people in this world who will hurt you, Rin, even if you think they care. Sometimes disappointment is worse than wondering. And hoping and being disappointed over and over again hurts worse than that.

Orochi has always thought that Meltokio was nothing compared to Mizuho. He would never think about leaving Mizuho to live there. So he doesn’t worry that someone else might. But if you don’t feel like you belong in Mizuho, or maybe you just aren’t sure, then other places start to look more appealing. You think, maybe they’d accept me in Sybak. Or Iselia. Or wherever.

When you don’t know yourself, or you don’t like yourself, and you meet someone who does, they look beautiful. Or at least interesting. Even when it’s aggravating and infuriating, it’s exciting.

But it’s not always real. Everyone hurts in their own ways, Rin. And I think someone who won’t admit they’re hurting can’t move past it. The more they try to run from it, the more they’ll make the same mistakes, and the more they hurt but pretend they don’t. A person can get trapped in a cycle like that.

I never had a mother. I don’t know how mothers and daughters are supposed to be. Maybe this is how it always is. I give you advice that you’ll only listen to after you’ve learned the lesson the hard way.

Maybe all parents and children are stuck in cycles like this. I don’t know.

Rin, please come home. We can talk about it. I’ll try to answer your questions, even the ones that hurt.

-Mama

Zelos,

I know you know how to be kind. I’ve seen you do it. I remember that little boy in Sybak, and how you helped his mother find a job. I remember you trying to comfort me after Corinne died. I remember the Tower of Salvation.

Sometimes, when I’m falling asleep, there will be a moment that feels like falling through the air. And I dream you are there to catch me again.

I also remember everything you’ve said or done to hurt me and push me away.

You had better not hurt her.

-Sheena


	5. A Mother's Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin has her own unexpected visitor.

Rin is writing when Sheena enters the room. The desk faces out a window, away from the door. For a moment, Sheena pauses in the threshold, looking at her daughter.

_How long has she been so tall?_

_How long has she been so bad at_ _noticing things_ _?_

Orochi would be disappointed in the results of his training. Sheena shifts her weight and clears her throat to draw Rin’s attention.

It works. Rin’s head snaps to the side, and her mouth drops open. She blinks rapidly, as if that will be enough to make what she sees disappear.

“Mama?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Rin.” Sheena tries a smile, keenly aware that there are a hundred other ways she could have handled this.

“But…. you’re here. You’re in Meltokio.”

“Yes.”

“Mama, you left Mizuho!”

That makes Sheena laugh in spite of herself. It’s true that, as long as Rin can remember, the role of chief has kept Sheena at home. She meets and delegates and discusses and reads and writes endless reports, but it has been years since she faced the outside world.

It’s a warm moment, but it doesn’t last. Rin abruptly looks away.

“Kasumi told you,” she says in a flat voice. Sheena wonders if she has been expecting this.

“Yes.”

Rin doesn’t look up.

“Are you going to tell me to go home?” she asks.

It would be so easy to say yes. Sheena would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it. It would be easy to call the mission off, or order Rin replaced with someone more experienced. But Sheena worries that one of the things Rin might have learned in Meltokio is how to disobey an order.

Even if she came home willingly, would she forgive her mother?

“No,” Sheena says instead. “I came here to talk.”

“Mama...”

“Really.” Sheena steps into the room and sits on the edge of the bed, willing herself to relax, suppressing the dangerously roiling memories of nights spent in Meltokio’s hotels.

Rin’s eyes dart over her mother’s face, scanning for truth.

“You’re not mad?”

It’s an uneasy question. Sheena’s anger is no longer burning, but it still smolders inside her.

“I’m not happy, Rin,” she admits slowly. “But I want to understand.”

Silence. At home, with Susano toddling around, there is rarely silence. Sheena had thought that she missed it. But this tense emptiness makes her want to pick at her fingernails and talk about nothing. She ignores the impulse, forcing herself to be still. To listen.

Rin sighs.

“Did you really _never_ think about finding your parents?”

Sheena bites back the immediate _no, never_ that wants to come out. Forces herself to think. It’s been a long life, lived in so many places. Has she really never wondered what it would be like to try?

“I did when I was younger. After… what happened at Volt’s Temple.”

“The accident,” Rin supplies.

“It wasn’t just an accident.” Sheena clears her throat, trying to dislodge the words that want to stick in her chest like shards of glass. “I was little. Younger than you are now. I was supposed to make a pact. But Volt didn’t speak a language anyone knew. And he was tired of humans. He went berserk.” Sheena rubs the palm of her hand over the bedspread, grounding herself with its velvet touch. “A lot of people died. Including Orochi’s parents. Grandpa fell into a coma.”

Silence again, but softer this time.

“The other villagers were grieving, and angry,” Sheena continues. “That’s when I started to think about my mother and father. I’d fantasize that they’d come back to get me. They’d take me far away, and then I wouldn’t have to face what I’d done.” The urge to run away had become deeply embedded with in her, taking her to Sybak and the Elemental Research Institute, and ultimately to Sylvarant.

“But you never looked for them?” Rin presses.

“I was so young, and I didn’t have any clue where to start. And… there’s a reason they left me in a ‘haunted forest.’ They couldn’t have, or didn’t want, a child. As far as I knew, that was still true.”

Wood creaks as Rin shifts in her chair.

“Mama, I...”

She trails off and looks down at her wrist, running her thumb along the edge of Corrine’s bell. It used to make Sheena’s heart ache, every time she looked at the bracelet. But over time, the sight became a comfort instead. A reminder that her best friend is still out there, watching over her daughter.

“I know you wish you hadn’t met my father,” Rin says in a small voice. “Do you ever… wish you hadn’t had me?”

Sheena remembers something, and then wishes she didn’t. The story of a woman bleeding out in the snow. _You should never have been born_.

She forces thoughts of Zelos down, and focuses on Rin instead.

“Never.” Sheena looks earnestly into her daughter’s eyes. “I love you, Rin, and every day I’m glad that I have you as my daughter.”

That love can't be everything, or solve everything. It won't keep Rin safe from everything that might hurt her. It won't fill emptiness that she feels inside.

But saying it out loud does something, all the same. And Sheena finds herself repeating it, as she crosses the room and holds her daughter close.

_I love you, Rin. I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the first three chapters of this years ago, and only recently decided to try coming back to it. Since I started, I think that what's at the core of the story has shifted for me. I hope it comes across as somewhat coherent in spite of that.


	6. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelos has a second unexpected visitor.

Zelos is brushing his hair in the second floor bedroom when he hears the window unlatch from the outside.

His first guess is ninjas. Not Rin, probably, but someone else from Mizuho. His second guess is another assassination attempt. It’s been a while since he’s had one, but you can’t get too comfortable when you make a hobby of pissing off important people. Possibly it’s both options combined, depending on how furious Sheena is with him.

“There is a front door, you know,” he says, and yawns ostentatiously for good measure, which is usually a good tool for goading people into a response.

“I know.”

Zelos’s first guess is sort of correct. It is someone from Mizuho, but the last person he expected.

“I wanted to talk to you, not Sebastian,” Sheena says, as if that is sufficient explanation for breaking into his house after years of pretending he does not exist. He stares as she nimbly climbs into the room.

She’s here. She’s here, in his house, in his bedroom, and she is older and wearing clothes he doesn’t recognize but she is still _her_.

There are a thousand things Zelos could do. He could apologize, or ask for forgiveness. He could tell her to leave.

Instead, he smirks and says, “Looking vulptuous as ever, hunny!”

The effect is immediate.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Sheena growls, and he recognizes the twitch in her arm.

“Or what? You’ll hit me?” Zelos spreads his arms wide, baring his chest. “Go on. Do it. You know you want to.”

He’s worse than ever for her now, now that he knows exactly what pressure points to hit to get under her skin.

He doesn’t know whether he’s disappointed or relieved when she doesn’t take the bait.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you,” Sheena says, and crosses her arms.

Too bad, really. Fighting is easy, familiar, safe territory. You don’t have to think as much when you’re fighting. If you hurt someone, you don’t have to regret it until later.

“Then why did you come here?”

“We need to talk about Rin.”

Zelos leans forward.

“Really? You want to talk to _me_ about Rin? Are you sure you don’t mean Orochi?”

She isn’t blushing, he realizes. She didn’t blush when he commented on her chest and she’s not blushing when he brings up Orochi. The realization is chilling. He’s always been the master manipulator, knowing exactly what to do and say to get the reaction he wants.

But Sheena’s changed.

Has he?

Sheena is scowling at him, but she doesn’t move from her position, standing with arms folded across her chest like that will protect her from him.

“You gave up your right to get mad about Orochi years ago.”

Zelos lets his eyes widen innocently, does his best _who, me?_ face.

“Who said I’m mad? I’m thrilled for you! I’ll buy you a belated wedding present. What do you want? A statue? It will probably be just as good at making conversation as he is.”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what? You don’t want me to be mad about it, you don’t want me to congratulate you-”

“Why are you purposefully trying to piss me off?”

“You broke into my house!”

“Oh, please.”

“You’re trespassing! Breaking and entering, in fact. I should-”

“ _Stop_.” Sheena drops her arms and takes a step towards him, and he resists the urge to lean back in his seat or get up and move away. It feels dangerous, having her too close.

“Zelos,” she says, and when was the last time he heard her say his name? “I mean it. We need to talk.”

As if it’s that simple. As if Sheena can just pull up a chair and they’ll discuss their daughter like he hasn’t worked hard to forget her existence.

“Zelos,” she repeats, and the worst part is that she doesn’t sound angry anymore. Her voice is almost gentle, almost tender, and Zelos can’t remember the last time _anyone_ said his name like that.

“I can’t.” It’s almost a whisper. He can’t admit failure out loud. “Sheena, I can’t have this conversation tonight.”

 _Just give me one night_ , he thinks. Let him take one night to figure out who he wants to be with the woman he loved so much he had to leave.

“I’m going back to Mizuho in the morning,” Sheena says softly, but without apology.

“Is Rin going with you?” Zelos tries to keep his voice loose and casual. Like it doesn’t matter. Like he doesn’t care.

“She’s staying in Meltokio for a couple more weeks.”

Again, he doesn’t know if he’s disappointed or relieved. Maybe it’s both.

“So she’ll stay long enough to see the results of the papal election, huh?”

“You’re doing it again.” Sheena points her finger at him, like he’s a little kid who’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “You’re trying to distract me.”

_Yes. Why isn’t it working?_

“Well, you said you wanted to talk about Rin. Let’s talk about why you sent her here to spy on Meltokio politics.”

Since she lives in a hidden village of secrets, Zelos thinks that Sheena should be used to deflection. But he can see in her eyes that she’s losing patience.

What will she do when she’s run out? He’s good at getting her to walk out in a huff, but this time she won’t come back. Is that what he wants? To know what it feels like to be the one left behind?

“Aren’t you a little old to be acting like this?” Sheena asks reproachfully, as if the three years between them is a lifetime.

Zelos has a sudden urge to do something with his hands. The chessboard is downstairs, so he reaches back up to his hair and starts methodically separating it into sections. Anything to keep him getting up and getting closer to her.

“If I pinch myself, will I wake up and find that this is all a very bad dream?”

That at least earns him a snort from Sheena.

“No.”

“Thought not.” His hands continue braiding mechanically, but his eyes are on her. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Sheena.”

“So don’t say anything. Just… listen. You do know how to do that,” she reminds him.

“Deal.” He flips the finished braid over his shoulder. “I’m listening. You can start with how much you hate me.”

Better to get the most painful part over with quickly, right?

“Fine. I hate you.” Sheena raises her eyebrows. “Do you feel better now?”

Zelos realizes that Sheena is trying to tease him. Once upon a time, that would have made him happy. Then again, once upon a time, she might have realized this was the wrong thing to tease him about.

He could tell her so. But it’s so much easier to pull on a face and play the clown than admit that he’s dreading what she has to say.

He scrunches up his face thoughtfully and makes a show of tapping on his chin.

“I just don’t think I really _believed_ it, you know? Once more, with feeling.”

Sheena rolls her eyes.

“I _hate_ you. I hate _you_. _I_ hate you. I hate that I had to sneak in through your window. I hate that you aren’t even acting surprised to see me. Rin was more shocked than you.”

“I knew you wouldn’t trust her with me,” Zelos mutters, but Sheena presses on, warming to the topic, gaining volume as she goes.

“I hate that you won’t talk to me about what’s going on. I hate that you won’t even admit there’s something to talk about. I hate that when she first met you, I wasn’t there. I hate that she learned about you from Orochi. I hate that I didn’t know what to tell her about you, because all I could think of was that you were a coward, and you left. I hate that you left!” She spits the words at him. Her cheeks are turning red, but not in the way he had wanted. “I hate that you left her. I hate that you left me! I hate that whenever I hear something about you, it’s about the damn _good_ that you’re doing. You’re helping people in the slums and democratizing the papal elections and I _hate_ that, because it means that you _did_ change for the better, and I can’t say that you didn’t learn anything, just that-” Sheena’s voice breaks, and she stops for a moment, exhaling slowly. The rest of her sentence comes out more quietly. “Just that you learned how to be better and decided to be an asshole anyways.”

Zelos can think instantly of dozens of things he should not say. _Language, Sheena_ is one of them. _Tell me how you really feel_ is another. _I love you too_ sounds like a death wish.

 _I’m sorry_ sounds false, and insincere, and insufficient. _You’re right_ sounds like not enough. _You’re wrong_ sounds like a fight, what she doesn’t want to have, and he doesn’t have an explanation to back it up. He doesn’t have words for the cold, dark fear that trickled down his spine when Rin was born. He can’t name the push that shoved him out the door, back to Meltokio, when he finally had somewhere else to call home.

“She’s a good kid,” he says.

Sheena stares at him as if he’s started speaking another language.

“What?”

“Rin. She’s a good kid,” he repeats. It's the closest he can come to admitting that he was wrong to leave.

Sheena looks less furious and more baffled. Zelos has finally succeeded in throwing her off-balance.

“Yeah, she is,” Sheena acknowledges, eyeing him uncertainly.

“You did a good job. You and Orochi.” He ignores the way that Orochi's name burns on his tongue.

Sheena sighs and stares at some distant point on the wall above his head.

“I hate that you stopped talking to me.”

Zelos had thought the list was over, but maybe it doesn’t have an end.

“I- I guess I always thought that maybe we could have worked it out, if you hadn’t stopped talking to me.” She rubs her arms self-consciously. "If you had tried to tell me what was going on, maybe I could have helped. Or at least I would have had some idea about what was coming. But you never gave me a chance. You just... left."

Zelos looks down at his idle hands. There’s no piano, no chess, nothing he can hide himself in.

“I didn’t know how to talk about it,” he admits.

Why is lying so easy, and being honest so hard? He’s a grown-ass adult, and he still hasn’t figured out how to be comfortable being vulnerable.

“The things that you’re doing in the city… they _are_ good. Even if they make it harder for me.” Sheena lowers her gaze back to his face. “I’m glad you’re trying to fix this place.”

“Especially now that Rin’s spending time here?”

“I guess so.” Sheena purses her lips. “Do you… want her to visit again?”

Zelos tries to think about it, even though his mind automatically wants to skip away from any thought that aches, inventing other turns the conversation could take, saving him from having to answer.

“I don’t know. Do _you_ want her to?”

“No.”

Zelos marvels at how easily being honest seems to come to Sheena. She’s so expressive, so passionate. It’s no wonder she struggled to find her place in Mizuho when they were younger.

“Does _she_ want to?”

“Maybe. You haven’t scared her off yet.” Sheena almost smiles. “Maybe… maybe you could write her letters. Tell her what you’re doing. Give her advice.”

“Come on, Sheena. You really want me giving her advice?”

“No.” Again, the response is immediate. “But I’m learning some things about parenting a teenager. There are some things she needs to do, even if I don’t want her to.”

“And talking to me is one of those things?”

“If she wants to.”

The whole conversation is surreal. In his conversations with Rin, Zelos has felt every mention of Sheena twist a knife in his chest. But now that the real deal is here in front of him… even the worst things she has to say are more forgiving than the bitter, incessant voice that has woken up in the back of his head. Could he have done this all along? Could they have worked out, if only he could have found the words?

It's a dead end, he reminds himself. There's no use wondering about it now.

“So why not let her ask? About visiting and letters?”

Sheena frowns.

“I… I guess I didn’t want you to disappoint her. By saying no. Or by saying yes, and then chickening out and changing your mind. Again.” She looks at him sharply. “I think being abandoned by your father once is plenty.”

 _Ouch_. Well, he can’t say that he doesn’t deserve it. And he can’t say it’s not true. Zelos’ father had abandoned him countless times- leaving Mylene for his mistress, having Seles, jumping off the Grand Tethe’alla Bridge- and the sting never went out of it.

Sheena moves closer to Zelos, and the alarm bells start ringing in his head again, flashing _danger, danger_. He forces himself to sit still.

“So, you need to figure out how to be honest. You’ve done it before.” Her finger points again, only this time she’s almost close enough to touch his face. “Tell me now. Are you going to run away again?”

“It’s not the kind of thing I plan in advance,” he grumbles, then raises his hands defensively when he sees Sheena’s eyes flash. “I’m out of practice being honest, okay? You gotta give me a minute.”

“You shouldn’t have to think this hard about it.”

“Look, if you want the truth, you need to give me more than five seconds to figure out what it is.” Zelos lowers his hands back into his lap, not breaking eye contact. “Please.”

The _please_ seems to do it. Her eyes don’t soften, but she pulls her finger out of his face and straightens up. That helps some, but it’s still hard to think with her staring at him. His mind keeps dragging up old memories. Happier times spent in this same bedroom. Making her laugh. Her words at what he thought would be the end of everything: _I never doubted you were a good person when it came down to it_.

She sure as hell doubts it now.

Or maybe not. If she were sure that he were irredeemable, she wouldn’t have crawled through his window in the first place. She wouldn’t have resisted his attempts to start a fight. She wouldn’t have even thought of letting him near Rin.

Zelos knows he is well past his second chance. Sheena has given him far more chances than he ever thought he deserved. And now she’s giving him another, for Rin’s sake.

The easy answer, the safe answer, would be that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with Rin, of any kind. No pain, no broken promises, no terrifying commitments to trying to be a father. Tried it, didn’t work, sorry, end of story.

But it wouldn’t work like that, would it? By showing up on his doorstep, Rin has already flung him head-first back into fatherhood. He knows he’s not what she expected- certainly not what she hoped for- but she keeps trying to talk to him regardless. If he were to cut off communication now, it would be far from painless. Rin is a living, breathing person with a personality and opinions, and she would be hurt. Even worse, she might blame Sheena.

Zelos knows, in his heart, that he hurt Sheena when he left, and he will live with that regret for the rest of his life. But she was an adult who chose to be in a relationship with another adult. Rin never chose to have him as a father. After all, who would? She just had the bad luck to be stuck with him, like he had been stuck with his own father.

But it wasn’t bad luck that made her come to Meltokio and seek him out. That was a choice. And how he responds now is his choice.

An icy voice whispers in his ear: _You should never have been born_.

How could a mother say that to her child? He tries to picture himself facing Rin and telling her the truth: _You were a mistake. I didn't want you._ _So get lost and stop trying._

The mental image disgusts him. Everything he has done- eliminating the Chosen title, becoming an emissary, giving away the money to people who need it more than him- all of those actions have been to try and rectify the past. To break the cycle his family has been stuck in, of self-loathing and misery redirected into miserliness and hidden misanthropy.

Maybe terrible parents abandoning their children is a cycle he can break too. Maybe he resigned himself to repeating the pattern too soon.

He takes a deep breath and looks down at Sheena’s impatiently tapping foot.

“I’ll try not to run away,” he says.

“Hm.” He doesn’t look up during the pause, doesn’t want to see what her eyes are doing, so her next words surprise him. “Where’s the spider?”

He pulls a wide-eyed, innocent face and looks up.

“Spider? What spider?”

Zelos knows in a split second that she has seen right through him.

“The figurine from Welgaia, you idiot. Where is it?”

Zelos mumbles something about the attic, feeling more like a child than ever. Sheena’s piercing gaze pins him in place.

“That’s the second thing we do, then. We find it and we put it somewhere where you have to look at it.”

“We?”

“We. You and me. Sebastian too, if you’d like. I’m sure we’ve woken him up by now.”

“I thought you had to go back to Mizuho.” Zelos tries out a whining tone, testing the boundaries. Sheena only raises an eyebrow.

“You and I have a lot to talk about first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't at all what I thought it was going to be when I started writing it! When I originally began this fic, this scene was going to be a more aggressive confrontation that started with Sheena bursting through the front door and shouting. I didn't really know what would happen after that. I initially even entertained the possibility that they might get back together. But coming back to the story more recently, I realized that while it would be fun to write, it wouldn't make sense for characters who have been out of each others' lives for such a long time, and have grown and changed and become very different people than they were when they were together. It was more interesting for me to think about what old habits they do and don't fall back into, and what they do and don't say.  
> I usually love a strong, clear resolution, and this isn't my best. But I realized that I was never going to be able to write everything they had to say to each other (unless I took like 50 pages). They've also spent so much time yelling at each other in their own heads that it feels almost as if they've run out of things to say, even though they haven't actually said any of it out loud. The most realistic and satisfying point for them to reach was talking to each other again, and as long as I brought them there, I figured it would be okay.


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking is hard, but they're working on it. Zelos writes and actually sends a letter.

_Rin,_

_I promised Sheena I’d write to you, and we both know she’d hunt me down if I broke my promise. So it’s up to us to make her regret encouraging this._

_Here’s my rebellious, outsider advice: think about school. The best ones are in Sybak and Palmacosta, but there’s other ones too. There are a thousand things you could do with your life. Becoming your mother is only one of them._

_I am going to a luncheon at the castle today. (Etiquette tip: if they say “luncheon” instead of lunch, you know it’s going to be really boring.) My other piece of advice is to avoid becoming the kind of person who has luncheons on their social calendar. (Or who uses phrases like “social calendar.”)_

_Tell Sheena I say hi. Up to you whether or not you tell her the other things I’ve said._

_If you visit, I promise we’ll only have regular lunch._

_~~Love~~ _

~~_From_ ~~

~~_Sincerely_ ~~

_Love,_

_Zelos_

Rin re-reads the letter twice, smoothing out the creases with a smile she can't suppress. She has never known anyone outside the village before. This is the first letter she's ever received.

And it's from her _father_.

"What did he say?" Sheena asks, her voice curt.

"He said I should go away to school," she replies. "And he said to tell you he says hi."

Sheena groans.

"I knew he would try and make trouble," she grouses. "He's trying to get you to leave Mizuho."

" _You_ went to school outside of the village."

"That's different."

"Besides," Rin continues with certainty, "I'd come back. Like you did."

Their eyes meet across the table, and Sheena reaches out and squeezes Rin's arm. It's just the two of them this morning. Orochi saw the letter come in and prudently decided that it was a good time to take Susano on a walk by the river, away from the conversation he feared or hoped or expected Sheena and Rin would have.

"We'll think about it," Sheena says, and Rin grins.

"If I stay, will you teach me to summon?"

Sheena's face falls, and she pulls back her hand. Rin worries that perhaps she has gone too far. She knows her mother is trying, pushing at the walls she's had up for so long and trying to communicate through the cracks. But they are both still figuring out where the boundaries are in this new relationship, the points where conversations flounder and Sheena's eyes glisten or gleam and they need to retreat to less dangerous ground.

"One thing at a time, okay, kiddo?" Sheena's face and voice are soft, and Rin makes a mental note. Now isn't the right time for this conversation, but she'll bring up summoning again. She'll find out why her mother is trying to keep it from her.

Rin looks down at the letter, and she can feel the smile breaking out across her face again.

"I'm going to write him back," she announces. "Should I give him a message from you?"

That earns another groan.

"You can tell him..." Sheena rubs her temples with her fingertips. "Tell him I say hello."

_Zelos,_

Rin absent-mindedly flicks the bell at her wrist while she thinks about what to write. It's no longer a distant, faceless name in an enemy city. It's the name of a person, who has a face and a voice and a home, and a sense of humor.

And he wrote her a letter.

_Zelos,_

_There are boring formal lunches in Mizuho as well. Maybe some day you'll come to one._

_Mama is pretending she regrets it, but really I think she doesn't mind. She looks worried, but she smiles too._

_She says hi back. Up to you if you want to hear the other things she said._

_Would you tell me more about the schools?_

_Love,_

_Rin_


End file.
